Fathers Day

June 21st, 2017

 

I confess that to me, Fathers Day is not a big deal, never has been. I don’t think my children need the holiday to remind them to be nice to me. And I hope I’m worthy of their honor every day. Sorry to be such a grinch.

For all that, last Sunday at church I was one of three speakers asked to share on the topic. As time was limited I resorted to a list: The things I purposed and applied as a father. You could call them my beatitudes, being brief, and all accompanied with blessing. I’ll share the list below.

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Here we were, left to right, Allison, Hyatt iv, Anne, Cambria, Acacia, Dad.

Prayed a gift for each child, from the womb. This was on the order of “love,” health,” wisdom,” etc. I wanted to see if there would be a unique manifestation of that in each child. And so I did.

Meals together. I might not have even mentioned this but I understand it’s becoming more rare. It’s then that we have our conversations, hear each’s “good news,” impart values, keep friendship alive.

A day of fasting and prayer for each, by Dad. This is something they never knew about and I’d forgotten until putting together this list.  But children need help, it’s rough world.  Prayed for their future spouses too, and their parents, also needing help.

Media governed. Allison, our eldest, has bragged she was raised without TV. 
 It’s usually in the context of someone remarking on her incredible creativity and talent. The lack of TV didn’t hurt, more like the other way around.

Traded TV time for reading time. As the family grew there was an appeal to be current so I compromised: reading for watching. They rose to it, even making it a game, keeping track on a chart.

Paid a wage for reading books of my choice. These were books on their level, but perhaps wouldn’t have been thought of. They were always helpful. And for a brief book report they could earn dollars.

Served their first communion. The kids see adults doing this in church, but do they know what it’s all about?  At an age I thought each was ready we took a walk. I brought the elements. We talked. It was a meaningful time.

Father and child road trips. This was in additional to family travels, of which there were many. The one-on-one experience, when it would happen, was always special for both of us.

Purposeful conversations in the car . . . any topic. This was more than the random passing time stuff, rather an invitation for them to bring up whatever topic they might not otherwise, in an unjudgemental atmosphere. Though they were young, it was talk at adult level.

The “My son” passages in Proverbs. There are a lot of these all though that book, and Proverbs is still the best resource for training a child . . . of any age. Once Hyatt Jr. and I rode motorcycles up through California and discussed these, one at a time, at stops and overnights.

International trips, just with Dad. This came to be something of a “rite of passage” for each. As I was traveling a lot in those days, at their 12th year each accompanied me on some weeks long grand adventure. Allison: Cameroon. Cambria: Guatemala. Hyatt: England and Germany. Acacia: Kenya, Congo, Sudan. Tamara: Colombia. Great memories, just between us.

Saturday Night Bible Study. While he was in high school I encouraged young Hyatt to read the Bible straight through. I said not to get bogged down at the parts he didn’t understand but to make a note of them. Then on Saturday nights, if he wasn’t going anywhere, we’d have our own time, discussing the harder questions. I didn’t always have the answers, but it was good for both of us.

Dates. These were usually lunches, anticipated a week or so in advance to build anticipation. One time, with little Acacia, I asked her what was the best thing going on in her life right then. She just beamed and said, “This!”

Attendance at all events. This would be all sporting events, all music events, whatever, because parents should be prime fans. We never enrolled in sports, however, that would rob us of Sunday mornings.

Church. This is something we did, you might say “religiously” (except I don’t like that word). It’s the right habit for a multitude of reasons. I’ll confess there were times when I myself did not want to go; but I did anyway for the children’s sake. (As parents, we’re always watched.)

Dedicated each one to the Lord, as infants. This is Christian tradition, a promise of the parents, and a spiritual covering of the child from the beginning. We did it for each of our children, and now, as grandparents, we’ve done so, in our own family ceremonies, for each of the grandchildren . . . all sixteen.

Honor their mother. Anne and I, early in our marriage, made a pact to never disparage the other in public. We also agreed to not discuss our child raising differences in front of them. There were times we disagreed, of course, but we did it in private, upholding each other’s authority. Worked well; we had no favorites and neither did they.

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The children as adults on the occasion of the first wedding, Tamara’s. On her right: Acacia and Hyatt iv, on her left, Cambria and Allison.

That’s it, or at least all I thought of for Fathers day. This is no judgement on others who see things a different way. My main point is the intentionality of it all. The fun was spontaneous, the travel mind-broadening, the one-on-one experiences special, but the training and the influence was intentional.

Happily, all of them seemed to have caught it . . . and are raising their own children in the same spirit.

And that is the greatest Fathers Day gift I could receive.

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As with all these pictures, click to enlarge.

Here we were six years ago at one of our every-two-year reunions. Four more grandchildren have joined us since. I like this picture because it includes Allison’s Vernon (top right) who died last year.
God bless us everyone.

15 Comments

  1. Lisa Hoyt Jun 21, 2017
    9:21 pm

    HI Hyatt!!! Boy what a beautifully written and then lived out family life, your priorities and well thought out ways of raising children!! All surrounded by your love and the love of our Lord and Father!!! What a magnificent testimony to you and Anne and how well your children turned out! And now all those grand children! WOW!!

    Thank you for sharing! I sure miss you both!!! Love love Lisa

  2. Sue Jun 21, 2017
    10:20 pm

    Beautiful! I’m honored to be related!

  3. Sue Jun 21, 2017
    10:22 pm

    And my toddler picture looks a little bit like Acacia!

  4. Jeanette Nelson Jun 21, 2017
    10:24 pm

    Hyatt, Several times your name has come up from various people, as your words of wisdom resonated with all. I was going to ask you to email me your list and here it is. Perfect. And intentional. Love it! My own father was intentional and he left a lasting mark for good that we see in our children today. Thank you. Jeanette

  5. jcl Jun 21, 2017
    10:53 pm

    Thanks. Great examples and a beautiful family.
    Well done!

  6. Terry & Patricia Lampel Jun 22, 2017
    5:09 am

    Thank you for sharing these poignant thoughts. The photos were a great bonus!

  7. Elizabeth Hammond Jun 22, 2017
    7:35 am

    Thank you , Hyatt.

    I am so grateful you write these blogs with wisdom and love to share with us.

    This one reminded me of some wonderful times I had on long trips whether by car, plane, train or ship with my children. Also, many other reminders of special times with my parents and my children.

    Thank you for taking this time and sharing.

    With many good wishes,

    Elizabeth Hammond

  8. Wayne Jun 22, 2017
    8:57 am

    Thanks for this, Hyatt. I’ve missed your blogs.

    I wish I could have had your list 61 years ago when Marilyn and I were married. So much love and intentionality there. Our three kids turned out well and we have a good relationship with them and the grandkids. (We’re living with our daughter and that is working out well on both sides.) Looking back, however, I have recognized there were many missed opportunities to enrich our relationship and their lives. If I (we) had been more intentional, our life overseas would have been filled with more shared experiences.

    Thanks again for your friendship and insights.

  9. Patricia Rody Jun 22, 2017
    10:55 am

    A lot to learn from you Hyatt! Gonna print this list and hopefully apply at least some of it in our family. Thanks!

  10. Kristan Jun 22, 2017
    7:30 pm

    Wonderful! Inspiring.

  11. Sophia Beccue Jun 23, 2017
    10:08 pm

    Very inspiring. Thank you Hyatt. It’s very enjoyable to see the photo of your large blessed family.
    Request: Can you share sometime how you do your day-fast for your kids? (both fast-wise and prayer-wise) I would really appreciate your insights on that.

    • Hyatt Moore Jun 26, 2017
      7:30 am

      Thanks, Sophia. I do have a little more on that, and will email it.

  12. Tamara Jun 24, 2017
    6:54 am

    My personal favorites were the International trip & our first communion together!! But I remember each of these as found mile markers growing up. Each important & impactful for me. And now I’m intentionally applying them to my children. Thank you for this legacy Dad!!

  13. Julia Ellis Jun 30, 2017
    5:46 pm

    What a gift you have given your children and grandchildren (and I’m sure great-grandchildren to come!). If our society as a whole did more of this, what an amazing world this would be. God bless you and Anne. P.S. Love the picture because Vernon’s in it, too – what a great way to honor him on Father’s Day, too :)

    • Hyatt Moore Jun 30, 2017
      6:47 pm

      Julia, Thanks. I doubt I’ll see many great grandchildren (though we think all we have are great)!