Rebuke’s Gift

July 22nd, 2012

Encounter, detail.

It’s better to heed a wise man’s rebuke than to listen to the song of fools.*

“Praise shames me, because I secretly crave it.” That’s by Nobel Laureate Rabindranath Tagore, but I suppose it could be said by any one of us.

And we could add, “A correction shames me, because I secretly avoid it.”

Praise, deserved, is a high thing and should be accepted with humility. For real value, it needs to come from the discerning. Cheap praise is just that.

Either way, it’s like perfume; you can smell it but you’d better not swallow it.

But “rebuke,” you’ll say, is not just correction, it’s correction with a point. It smarts.

And it’s smart to accept it.

I looked up the etymology. It’s from 14th century Anglo-French meaning to repel or beat back.

We knew all about rebukes when we were children and we were generally helped. It’s a rare thing among adults. We build moats and walls around ourselves that prevent any such from getting through.

But there may be times when a big “STOP IT” would be the best thing for us to hear.

Stop it?

Yes. Stop it. Whatever it is you’re doing that’s annoying, festering, bringing people down, or bringing yourself down: Stop it.

Sorry if I’m intruding, but I couldn’t resist since we’re on the topic. I know I need to hear it from time to time.

Take it as from a friend . . . just in case it applies and there’s no one around with the blundering forthrightness (or the courage) to say it. If it doesn’t apply, save it for another day.

Or, just forget it.

I think I hear the singing of a fool. (Much more pleasant.)

 

PS  Click here for Bob Newhart’s classic counseling session where he gives the same advice.

_______________________

*Ecclesiastes 7:5

Just entering the Lake District, England.

 

10 Comments

  1. Dave Oltrogge Jul 23, 2012
    4:36 am

    Your comment re cheap praise reminded me of a line by C.S. Lewis: ‘I don’t want my dog to bark approval of my books.’ :-)

  2. Sue Donaldson Jul 23, 2012
    7:29 am

    Of course, it’s easier to rebuke “online” – to the blog masses – than to a close friend who still needs it. I think it was Andrew Murray who said/wrote: “It should hurt you just as much or more to confront another.” Usually, I’m just chicken. I will try and “stop it” all day today – whatever needs stopping.
    Love the Lake District – stop by Beatrix Potter’s – I’m sure she’s expecting you. I called ahead for you.

  3. Barbara Mosten Jul 23, 2012
    8:22 am

    Enjoyed this immensely! Was mentored by a wonderful women, who, when I started to veer in the wrong direction, would just say, .”Don’t.”. She left it up to me to figure out exactly what I was doing that needed correction. An excellent teaching tool, at least for me as a student. Love the Bob Newhart clip!
    Thanks again!

  4. Carmen Tome Jul 23, 2012
    8:24 am

    From a wise man, it may be hard to hear but there is an internal recognition and confirmation, so the heart can open to accept the rebuke and change. :)

    But on the flip side, there are many whose rebuke is mere harsh criticalness. Gives an honest rebuke a bad name. :)

  5. Lisa Carden Jul 23, 2012
    8:39 am

    Thanks, Hyatt.

  6. scott anderson Jul 23, 2012
    10:08 am

    its always easier to “take our medicine” when we trust the
    doctor…

  7. jcl Jul 23, 2012
    10:37 am

    How true. Ouch.

    • Hyatt Moore Aug 22, 2012
      6:30 pm

      Curious what this is about.

  8. lisa hoyt Jul 23, 2012
    4:42 pm

    You know, this is such a wonderful subject! Growing up with critical people as parents, it has always been hard to hear this for me, as an adult even. But as an adult, I feel I have grown because I like to hear how I can improve today, especially regarding something that I know I do reasonably well. However, I still like to hear the critique, done carefully and respectfully. This is how I try to do this myself for others, and I know I don’t always do it well. And, I do love praise, but who doesn’t! I also try to praise people’s actions as much as possible—looking to what they are doing well because I know they appreciate this, like I do. Also—to be careful not to have to need praise too much IS healthier. I do agree and thank you for reminding. Praising God and letting Him praise you for a job well done is beyond words! It is the best praise to receive! Lisa Hoyt

  9. Norm Jul 23, 2012
    4:44 pm

    Jesus was beyond reproach, I think most of us would agree. We, however, have a ways to go. The question is, “Can we handle the truth?” Great thoughts, Hyatt. Good line, Scott!